so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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