let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is it because I queefed?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the day after is always just damage control
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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