Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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