how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
