lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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