Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I FOUND THE LEGS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
