did you get engaged???
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
