She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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