Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
