Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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