Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
