I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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