You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize