the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
