And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
