yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Randomize
