it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
