nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
