We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
