I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
