I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize