I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize