no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
