I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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