Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
