Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
