And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
