I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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