Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
