Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
