i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
