whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
