you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
