before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
