i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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