so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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