She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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