you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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