wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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