I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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