My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
