I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
