ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
