Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
