Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize