Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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