Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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