I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
