Having a random hookup so left but love u
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Found the puke drawer
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
