All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
