take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
