do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The ass gains better be worth it
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
