is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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