i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
