i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
