OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize