youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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