I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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