dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
