adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just want to make out with him forever
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
