The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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