the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
