During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
