Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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