Umm I'm too high to move.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
