i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
