just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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