i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
