i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
