Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
