And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
