This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it's like iHOP with fire
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
