WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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