you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
